More Bad News

I just wanted to share with everyone that we just got an update from our agency that stated that right now referrals are running at about 12 months they feel that things may expand to an 18 month referral time frame. This is very sad news for us since that would place our daughter with us at 1 year past the original time frame we were looking at when we started this process. We know that once she is with us the wait will have been worth it but it does not make it any easier to deal with. One of the support groups that I have joined have posted messages from their respective agencies that state similar things, except that they are saying it may get as bad as 13 to 16 months with hopes of getting it back to 10 to 12 months. Unfortunately, no one knows for sure what China will do or how long or short the referral time will be. It is my opinion that at this point there is no accurate way to put a time frame on this because no one really knows and they are only speculating and the uncertainty is what makes it so hard.

Update

I just wanted to let everyone know that China updated their site today and shows that they have given out the referrals for the month and the good news is that they did more days than last month but the bad news is that they only gave out 9 days worth. So for all of those who keep asking when and how much longer please say a prayer that God convinces China to speed the process back up because right now it is looking like a long time from now since the referral span for this bunch is June 7th thru June 15th.

I must admit that this process is much more difficult than I realized that it would be. I knew that the referral time stretching back out was a possibility but when it shortened after we started the process I didn't expect to come to a screeching halt like it has. I can now say that I know what women with fertility problems and those parents who are in the adoption process are going through. You spend months working so hard to get the paperwork ready and stressing over the homestudy and wondering if you are going to say the right things and do the right things so that your social worker feels that you would be a good parent. Then once you run and run and get this and that notarized and hand deliver things to the agency so that you don't have to wait on the mail to get it there. Then you have to sit back and wait on your government to get everything state sealed and authenticated, which is frustrating because you have no control over this part of the process. Then you wait for your paperwork to be sent to China and then you wait for China to log you in (that is the LID date) and then you start counting down the days (more like months) until you receive your referral. I think this part is the most difficult or at least it is for a control freak like myself. I have absolultely no control over what happens now, everything is in the hands of the CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs) and they are not doing things at the rate that I want. Anyway I know that I need to stop complaining, as I have been told by many people it will happen in God's time. I must admit as hard as I am trying to trust in his timing it doesn't always make the wait easier. Sometimes it helps but other times... well I just sit down have a good cry and try to get busy doing something to take my mind off of it.

Anyway I know this is not the stuff that you want to hear but sometimes I just need a place to vent my feelings.

Our day

Today we went to the zoo with the other three families that we will potentially be traveling with. They are wonderful people and we really enjoy our time with them. They are going through the same thing that we are and they understand the difficulties and the excitement that we have. Under the link to adoption stories on the right you will see a link to the journey to Emma which is the story of one of those families

New Links & Section Added!

Today new links have been added. We added a link to the world famous "Dannys Bagel" the eatery of choice for many families while in China. We also added two links to sites that specialize in China adoption themes and cultural and educational products. They are China Sprout & ReThread Families. We added a new section for adoption stories, the first site we have added is from our friends Jen & Shane, who are one of the three other couples from the Memphis area we may be traveling with to China. Enjoy!

Love Without Boundaries Charity Auctions

While we were looking for the Lee Middleton Li Ying Doll. I found this charity auction. The proceeds from all listed items sold by Love Without Boundaries go to help orphaned children in China, by providing medical care, nutrition, education, and foster care to some of the world's most vulnerable children. Love Without Boundaries is a registered 501(c)(3) organization in the US.

They have have wonderful Chinese items, autographed items, books, dolls, paintings by children in China. Everyone should look at this eBay auction site.

Please check out the link section to go to the sellers auctions.

Poem "Were you born today??"

Were you born today??

Were you born today across the ocean deep and blue?
Did someone wrap you warmly?

Did they stop and gaze at you?
Did they look upon your almond eyes and touch your silken hair?

Did they stop to kiss each tiny toe, hear your breath upon the air?
Did you hear a soft voice comforting, securely in her arms?

The warmth of two souls bonding, oh, the lure of newborn charms.
Were they charmed by every movement; every yawn and stretch and pout?

Did they celebrate with handshakes and good spirits all about?
(Or were the tears mistaken, as they fell upon your face?
Their eyes were wells of sorrow? Their heads hung in disgrace?
Did they tremble when they realized the thing that would be done?
Did they mourn the new day coming, with the rising of the sun?)

Did they place you, oh so tenderly, in the place where you were found?
Were those blankets wrapped up tightly to deny the cold, hard ground?

Did she whisper words of comfort with a love that was so deep?
Did she recognize the features of this one she could not keep?

Did you feel the night wind blowing as it carried in the morn?
Did you hear your mother weeping on the day that you were born?

And here across the ocean a mother weeps for you. How long before she travels across that ocean, deep and blue?
How long before she gazes at those dimpled hands?

How long before she travels to that promised, distant land?
Her heart is filled with gladness. Her dreams are coming true.

The secret thrill of motherhood, across that ocean deep and blue.
And she'll gaze upon your almond eyes and touch your silken hair.

She'll stop and kiss each tiny toe...feel your breath upon the air.
And you'll hear a soft voice comforting; the worlds so insecure.

Two fragile souls are bonding as they hold each other near.
She'll be charmed by every movement; every yawn and stretch and pout.

And she'll celebrate with handshakes and good spirits all about.
And you'll hear the night wind blowing as she rocks you off to sleep.

And she'll whisper words of comfort, with a love that is so deep....And far across the ocean a mother weeps...

~by Mary E. McRae

Links Added

I have been playing around with the blog today, and added some links that Sandy and I want to share with everyone. The first is Adoptive Families Magazine, this is great resource for families. The second link added is Bethany Christian Services, this is our agency. For families in the Memphis area, it is called Midsouth Christian Services. Please browse the sites when you can.

Poem "The Answer"

THE ANSWER
(To An Adopted Child)

Not flesh of my flesh
Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously
My own.
Never forget
For a single minute:
You didn't grow under my heart,
But in it.

--Fleur Conkling Heyliger

Dolls

I found these dolls on a website, www.redthreadfamilies.com. I just could not resist and had to buy all three of them. They are all designed for a different age child so I think they will keep Kaleigh happy for years to come. I know this information is coming out of order but we didn't get this started in time to get everything in order and I want to be able to share everything with all of you. I also found dresses that fit the oldest of the three dolls and two of those dresses are made of fabrics that are Asian in theme so I am hoping to find material in China and have Kaleigh matching dresses made.

The Brown Envelope Arrives!!!!

Today the brown envelope finally arrived!!!! Brent called me at work to let me know that it was in the mail. I was so excited and started telling everyone at work that the brown envelope had arrived. Of course, they did not understand what it was or why I was so excited over it. I don't think anyone who has not been in this position could understand. For those of you who are reading this and wondering "What exactly is this brown envelope?", it is a package that arrives with paperwork you will need in China to get your baby's visa and it also contains a letter and a case number that shows that the US has approved us to adopt an international orphan. So for those wondering, it does not mean we are any closer to completing this long journey but it is one more confirmation that things are progressing and that it is really happening.

Hello Kaleigh

We are sitting here on Mother's Day wondering if you have been born yet and how long it will be until we get to hold you.